AsOpposedToWhat.com

Half-Truths

When You Assume

  • When you assume you make an ass out of you and me.1 And yet, before it even makes sense to utter that statement, I assume you understand English; I assume that you can hear me, that you’re listening, that you’re not an asshat.

Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke

  • Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke — unless it’s one of those problems that if you fix it now it may save you a lot of extra work later on. Because, as you know…

A stitch in time saves nine.

  • A stitch in time saves nine — but don’t fix it if it ain’t broke.

Too many cooks

  • Two many cooks spoil the broth — except, when two heads are better than one.

Two heads are better

  • Two heads are better than one — unless you’re a cook making broth.

Deep down inside

  • Deep down inside we’re all the same — Are you sure? said the man with stomach cancer.

All your eggs in one basket

  • Do not dedicate all your resources to one project. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.2 Or, as Mark Twain would say: “Put all your eggs in the one basket and — WATCH THAT BASKET.”3

What does not kill me makes me stronger

  • What does not kill me makes me stronger4 — unless you inhale too much coal dust and get black lung disease5, or smoke too many cigarettes and slowly waste away from cancer.