The parable of the squirrel

(aka A ferocious metaphysical dispute¹)

Some time ago, being with a camping party in the mountains, I returned from a solitary ramble to find everyone engaged in a ferocious metaphysical dispute.

The focus of the dispute was a squirrel – a live squirrel supposed to be clinging to one side of a tree-trunk; while over against the opposite side of the tree, a man was imagined to stand.

The man knows the squirrel is on the other side of the tree-trunk, but he can’t see the squirrel.

So the man tries to catch sight of the squirrel by running around the tree, but no matter how fast he moves, the squirrel moves just as fast, but in the opposite direction. So the squirrel always keeps the tree between himself and the man. The man never sees the squirrel.

Does the man go around the squirrel?

The resultant metaphysical dispute was this: Does the man go around the squirrel?

He goes around the tree, sure enough, and the squirrel is on the tree; but does the man go around the squirrel?

In the unlimited leisure of the wilderness², the discussion had grown contentious; everyone had taken sides

Half said yes the man goes around the squirrel. Half said no he doesn’t.

They appealed to me to make it a majority, one way or the other. Mindful of the scholastic adage that when you meet a contradiction, it’s often helpful to make a distinction, I did.

“It seems to me,” I said, “that it comes down to what you practically mean by ‘going around’ the squirrel.”

What you mean

“If you mean passing first from the north of him to the east, then to the south, then to the west, and then to the north of him again, obviously the man does go around the squirrel, because the man occupies those positions. He does exactly that.”

“But if, on the other hand, you mean by ‘going around’ being first in front of the squirrel, then on the right of the squirrel, then behind the squirrel, then to his left, and finally in front again, it’s obvious the man fails to go around the squirrel, because the squirrel keeps his belly turned towards the man the whole time. The man never gets behind the squirrel.”

So it depends

“Make the distinction,” I said, “and the argument is over. You are both right and both wrong depending on what you mean when you say ‘goes around’ the squirrel.”