On 'Respecting' Personal Pronouns

If I’m asked, for example, to respect gay marriage (even if it’s against my religious views) or to be kind and pay for sidewalk curb cuts for the handicapped, those requests don’t require me to change my behaviour (except for paying taxes for something I might disagree with). But asking me to ‘respect’ your personal pronouns does require me to act differently.

It changes the way I speak; it changes the words that I use. And not because I decided to speak differently (I think I speak just fine, thank you very much), but because someone else’s ideology tells me to speak differently, regardless of what I might think about that ideology. Indeed in some situations I’m compelled to speak differently if I don’t want to be ostracized.

‘Respect’ then – in this case – is really just a social nicety layered on top of a shit sandwich. It means I’m supposed to agree with someone else’s worldview, like it or not, no discussion necessary, and then change what I say. So it’s not really respect that’s being asked for, what’s being asked for is compliance.

“Why are you making such a big deal about this? Language changes. It’s like you’re some kind of linguistic Luddite. Get with the times, man. It’s really not that hard to use a person’s personal pronouns. You’ll get used to it. Why don’t you just be nice?”

[long, thoughtful pause]

Why don’t you just go fuck yourself?